My Mind is Elsewhere

I may be kind of absent from blogging for the next week or so...not that I have been incredible about keep it up lately anyway! Monday is match day, the BIG day. This is the day you start hearing about from your first day of medical school. It is kind of a big mystery at first and then you hear the horror stories about not matching, matching somewhere you didn't really want to match or think you would match, scrambling, changing specialties, etc. Of course, it always works out. I know that. I have heard the bad turn into good.

Match day kind of determines the rest of your life. We find out where we will be for residency and basically what Kody will do with the rest of his life. It is a really big deal.

Kody is calm. I am calm. However, I think it is a freaking out calm. I think we are both just not sure it is actually happening so soon. The worst part is we won't be together on Monday. I always thought I would take that day off from work. I would have "command central" set up in case he didn't match. I would have all the phone numbers laid out ready to go so we can start calling open programs. He would man the phones and I would be in charge of email. If a program called I could look it up immediately so we didn't have to call back and possibly lose a spot. I have heard stories of programs calling to offer unmatched students a spot. The student takes some time to check out the program site, calls back and the spot is filled. YIKES! I don't get to set up command central now. Kody will be in Lawton. He'll be all alone. I can't help him. The thought of that alone is terrifying.

I would be so awesome in command central.

I know this is all worst case scenario talk. Hopefully he'll match and all will be dandy. He'll call me Monday morning and say, "I matched .....!" We are also realistic. Over 50% of students who want orthopedics don't match. It is very competitive. A lot of crazy stuff can happen. We have had a lot of things not work out the way we wanted them to work out. We have also had a few good surprises. I'm not sure what God has in store for us Monday morning. I know what I am hoping for. I know what Kody is hoping for. I am praying that God will give us this one thing. Give us the easy road one time. Just once! We have clawed our way through school, rotations, boards, into programs that we didn't think would give him a shot and now I just want God to say, "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

I have great friends who listen to me yap about this and will love me wherever I live. I was telling Angela this morning how I think match day is probably a lot like finding out you are pregnant. You know it is going to happen sometime. One day it does and you go from knowing your life as one thing to moments later knowing it will never be the same. Crazy.

Oddly enough, I don't really like talking about it all that much. I'm kind of sick of talking about the whole thing in general. I do, however, like to blog about it. Uninterrupted venting! It is what it is. We either match or we don't. We make the most of it and be happy. That is the simple truth. Tulsa, Michigan, Ohio or some unknown. At least we'll be together...and with Bailey.

I need one more weekend with Kody before our fate is sealed. I need time with him to make sure we are good, calm, ready....kind of a like a pregame pep talk. I know he wants us to be together when he finds out. I know that can't happen. Angela...you might have to make an emergency road trip to Tulsa...mambas in hand if have a nervous breakdown....