Saturday I did something I have never done before in my entire life.
I hit a squirrel.
With my car.
I typically get really sad when I see dead animals. It doesn't matter if it is a opossum, skunk, squirrel, bird, dog, cat or deer. If it was once alive and now is dead then I am sad.
I had never hit an animal before. I probably should have about one hundred time, but I always tried to avoid it. This usually ends up with Kody giving me a stern lecture about how trying to not hit an animal can put me in more danger of being in a wreck, blah blah blah. Whatever.
We were on our way to the OSU/Texas game (more to come on that later). We were leaving my parents neighborhood and I looked at Kody for one second to say something and all I hear is Kody yell, "NOOOOOOOOOO!" I turned my head and tried to miss....my front wheels did....the back ones did not. Kody's face looked horrified, not because I actually hit a squirrel, but because he knew what was about to happen.
Tears. Wailing. Lot and lots of tears. Plus slight moments of hyperventilating. I picked up the phone to call my mom and confess my sins. Kody tried to get me to pull over and let him drive, but I refused.
"Poor ::sniff:; squirrel. He was probably ::sniff sniff:: trying ::sob:: to get some good nuts! I KILLED him! I'm a murderer!"
I can never take that one second back. I can never undo what I did to that squirrel. I took his life. I took him from his family. He was probably the provider out collecting nuts for winter for his lady squirrel and their babies. I don't know if I will ever forgive myself. I'm kind of not exaggerating at all.
The next morning I drove to church and was elated to not see the squirrel in the road. I had a moment of hope. Did I not kill this squirrel? Did he survive? Was the lump I saw in my rear view mirror just a terrified little squirrel waiting for me to be gone before he ran to safety? No. My mom crushed that dream pretty fast. As I told her about my hopeful thoughts she said, "Oh no! I saw him last night. He was definitely dead."
Later I found out that my dear, sweet husband moved the squirrel on his way to the hospital at 6AM on Sunday morning just so I wouldn't have to see him on my way to church. What a sweet boy. He put him under a tree where he probably liked to climb. Now whenever I drive by that tree I will remember that moment and how I took the life of another living creature.
Rest in peace Mr. Squirrel. I'm sorry.