Monday, November 2, 2009

The Squirrel

Saturday I did something I have never done before in my entire life.

I hit a squirrel.

With my car.

It died.

I typically get really sad when I see dead animals. It doesn't matter if it is a opossum, skunk, squirrel, bird, dog, cat or deer. If it was once alive and now is dead then I am sad.

I had never hit an animal before. I probably should have about one hundred time, but I always tried to avoid it. This usually ends up with Kody giving me a stern lecture about how trying to not hit an animal can put me in more danger of being in a wreck, blah blah blah. Whatever.

We were on our way to the OSU/Texas game (more to come on that later). We were leaving my parents neighborhood and I looked at Kody for one second to say something and all I hear is Kody yell, "NOOOOOOOOOO!" I turned my head and tried to miss....my front wheels did....the back ones did not. Kody's face looked horrified, not because I actually hit a squirrel, but because he knew what was about to happen.

Tears. Wailing. Lot and lots of tears. Plus slight moments of hyperventilating. I picked up the phone to call my mom and confess my sins. Kody tried to get me to pull over and let him drive, but I refused.

"Poor ::sniff:; squirrel. He was probably ::sniff sniff:: trying ::sob:: to get some good nuts! I KILLED him! I'm a murderer!"

I can never take that one second back. I can never undo what I did to that squirrel. I took his life. I took him from his family. He was probably the provider out collecting nuts for winter for his lady squirrel and their babies. I don't know if I will ever forgive myself. I'm kind of not exaggerating at all.

The next morning I drove to church and was elated to not see the squirrel in the road. I had a moment of hope. Did I not kill this squirrel? Did he survive? Was the lump I saw in my rear view mirror just a terrified little squirrel waiting for me to be gone before he ran to safety? No. My mom crushed that dream pretty fast. As I told her about my hopeful thoughts she said, "Oh no! I saw him last night. He was definitely dead."

Thanks Mom.

Later I found out that my dear, sweet husband moved the squirrel on his way to the hospital at 6AM on Sunday morning just so I wouldn't have to see him on my way to church. What a sweet boy. He put him under a tree where he probably liked to climb. Now whenever I drive by that tree I will remember that moment and how I took the life of another living creature.

Rest in peace Mr. Squirrel. I'm sorry.

4 comments:

mydogumentary said...

GINNY it's ok...most people would laugh at you but I can relate to you. I feel bad when I kill spiders. Thankfully I haven't hit anything YET but now that I have said that I'm sure I'll be hitting a cow or something on the way home. If it makes you feel better, just remember, Brian has actually hit a child...so there. (actually the child hit him, same difference though)

ashleyinfrance said...

Ginny, I feel your pain. I'm about to write a heartfelt RIP blog for your squirrel and the racoon I squashed on Friday night on my way to Enid... :-(

Alexandra said...

Why do husbands give that lecture on NOT swirving....like we can control trying not to kill stuff!
God will forgive you, but you will need to provide nuts for the rest of his family for the rest of your life...sorry.

Alexandra said...

Why do husbands give that lecture on NOT swirving....like we can control trying not to kill stuff!
God will forgive you, but you will need to provide nuts for the rest of his family for the rest of your life...sorry.